Poodles take Dive

(clicken to enlargen)

Keeping the Fantasy in Fantasy Football.

Week 5 in the AWFFL fantasy football league. The fabulously wealthy but winless 0-4 Aziz Ansari have their first win of the season against the Penultimate Poodles... who suddenly are rolling in tons of cash.

Connect the dots. It's pretty easy.

When asked about integrity, the Poodles replied, "Integrity is something we can buy with lots of cash... but first we are going to build a new pink clubhouse with a hot yoga studio and a Mr. Smoothie bar."

In spite of this loss, the Poodles are in a 3 way tie for first place in the Bipolar Division.

Next game puts the Poodles up against the Tight-Jean Juggernauts of the Dementia Division.

Poodles squash Mashers

(clicketh upon yon image to supersizeth it)

Keeping the Fantasy in Fantasy Football.

Week 4 in the AWFFL fantasy football league. The Penultimate Poodles traveled to Mashachusetts, home of the 3-0 league leading Mashers for this week's game. The huge blue Masher Stadium was filled with Masher fanatics. The Masherettes led the crowd from the sidelines as they chanted "Mash-em Up, Mash-em Up, Mash!, Mash!, Mash!" The Poodles were so intimidated they had to spend an extra 20 minutes in the Downward Dog yoga pose to calm their nerves.

The game was hard fought. Many manicured toenails were scuffed and some even broken! The Poodle's hairspray gave out in the 3rd quarter and morale was at a low. But then, rallying at the sound of the 2 minute warning, the Poodles pulled together for one last campaign. As the ball was snapped, Percy Poodle screamed, "Shoe's untied!" The entire Masher defense said, "Huh?" and started looking down at their feet.

The Poods then crammed the ball into their Indiana Jones satchel and sprinted for the goal line. Upon seeing they had been fooled, the Mashers released their Boulder of Death. As the gigantic Masher ball bore down on them, the Poods zigged and zagged and fought their way through the cobwebs as the goal line grew near. All would have been lost... but the Pood's trainer had made sure his team was wearing the proper footwear for Masher Stadium. Jimmy Choo pink cleats. With this extra edge, the Poods crossed the goal line to victory!

Whew!

The Poodles had done what no other team had done up to this point... beat the Mashers. There was much rejoicing in the Poodle clubhouse as cans of hairspray were dispensed, Perrier flowed like... uh, water, and complimentary manicures were done for all.

Bandits rob Poodles

(click upon to enlargenify image)

Keeping the Fantasy in Fantasy Football.

Week 3 in the AWFFL fantasy football league. The Penultimate Poodles traveled south to the home of the ferocious Chinese Bandits. As the Poodles traveled to the game in their lavish pink party bus, they psyched themselves up by painting their nails and using countless cans of hairspray to keep their poodle-doos in place. Entering the packed, bright yellow Kung Pao Stadium, the Poodles were overwhelmed. But then, the Poodles are always overwhelmed.

The game was a close one. The lead swapped back and forth the over and over. Late in the fourth quarter with the Poodles ahead, the Bandits pulled a trick play. At the snap of the ball, the Bandits pulled out trombones and began playing a John Philip Sousa march. The Poodles were so excited they forgot all about football and started doing their award winning marching routine. The Bandits strolled across the goal line. The extra point was kicked through the uprights (resembling giant chop sticks)... and the game was history. Final score Bandits 109 - Poodles 99.

Next week the Poodles travel to the home of the Mashers. Stay tuned.

Poodles hock Phlegm

click to biggercize

Putting the Fantasy in Fantasy Football.

Week 2 in the AWFFL fantasy football league. It was a clear day with sunny skies at Flambeau Field, home of the Penultimate Poodles. The Poodles entered the pink stadium to the roar of thousands, er, hundreds... OK, tens of fans. Their rivals, the slippery, loogie hocking Phlegm, kicked off to begin the epic battle.

The Phlegm took an early lead, sliming the field and watching while puzzled Poodles slid in every direction. It wasn't till late in the 4th quarter during a time out for tea and crumpets, that the Poodles discovered that donning their hot pink Crocs enabled them to skate by the Phlegm and score touchdowns.

The rest is AWFFL history. Poodles skated by the Phlegm with a score of 127 to 81. Next week... the Poodles face the one-eyed Chinese Bandits. Poodles are now getting in some serious practice eating their Poodle Chow with chop sticks. OY!

the AWFFL fantasy football league

(click to bigger-cize) POODLES SLURP THE NOODLES

It's football time again and that means the fantasy football leagues are back in business. I am a member of the AWFFL league. That's Another Worthless Fantasy Football League. It is composed of brothers, nephews, and assorted relatives. Some of said relatives are Professional Football Fanatics and others are... well... not. Do you see me holding up my hand here? Way in the back... in the corner... next to the exit?

We have two divisions. The Dementia and the Bipolar. Luckily, I am in the Bipolar division which is the ABSOLUTE BEST DIVISION EVER!!! uh... no, I take that back it's totally the PITS!! No... it's Awesome! No, it's Horrible! I am so depressed to be in it... never mind. Deep breath... moving on...

Anyway, after the first week my team the Penultimate Poodles, triumphed over the slippery but tasty Instant Noodles. It was a very flavorful, yet highly salty game. The Poodles relaxed after their first win in the team hot tub playing with their chewy toys, eating Purina Poodle Chow and sipping Perrier water.

Week two brings us a Home game vs the Sedro Woolley Phlegm. What a bunch of slime bags!